It’s been a long hiatus since I last wrote and ran even, but I’m back to it. My good friend Kelly is leaving on her run to Mexico next month, and she’s so inspiring that I want to get back to running a lot as well. So, my plan is to do a half marathon with her in September and then one in October dedicated to her as she runs to Mexico. So look for regular posts from me again!

I have been so lax in posting-and I am sorry! I haven’t been lax in working out, though! Trust me. Things are nuts lately and all I have to keep me sane is my working out. And my sweet hubby-we just celebrated our 1 year anniversary on Monday! Yippee! Anyway, I can’t remember what I did last week. Oh wait, let me consult ye old nike plus…ah yes. Here we are:

Sept. 7: 6 miles with Kelly, easy pace

Sept. 8: 2 miles easy

Sept. 9: 4 mile trail run-stupid ipod paused at 3.3 miles so it only recorded that much on my training log. boo

Sept. 12: 4 miles

Sept. 13: 2 hour mountain bike ride. Did some exploring so it wasn’t all that intense.

Sept. 14: 9 mile Run for Congo Women-what a great run. Felt great physically and about the reason I was running! Finished in 1:47. Good time for me. Not for real runners.

Sept. 15: 2 mile recovery run

Sept. 17: 5 mile trail run. legs felt ok. Feet and ankles hurt-have a huge cramp in my left foot. 8 mile mountain bike ride. Felt pretty good.

Thank goodness for working out! With people getting laid off right and left at work, it’s my only means to stay sane! Well, that and a post-ride beer.

Oh and I started a weight training program that is 3x per week. Should be good!

Just got back from a good workout today. Ran 6 miles with Kelly and then went to the gym for an upper body workout. Felt OK. Yesterday I rode bikes with my husband and our friend, Eric. Having partied a little too hard on Friday night, I kind of sucked a lot yesterday, but oh well. It has reaffirmed my desire to get in better shape and to take care of myself even more. 

That said, I’m really going to make a big effort to eat better. The exercise part for me is easier than the eating. I just keep downing crap food. So, after reading about Heather’s experience with the Paleo diet, I am going to model my own nutrition much like that. Granted, I am going to ease myself into it, so to start I won’t eliminate all grains, but I’ll make sure that when I do eat anything with grains, it will be whole grain-not bleached or enriched.

The focus of the paleo diet is supposed to be more like a hunter/gatherer would eat. So no processed/refined foods, no dairy, no wheat/flour based foods. More berries, fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins like chicken and fish. I don’t think I’ll be able to go entirely without grains or dairy, but I can definitely cut back. I’m looking forward to trying it out, we’ll see how it goes. 

So far today I’ve had a banana, and then I made some excellent banana-hazelnut pancakes with organic whole wheat flour. I also replaced 1/3 of the flour with soy flour-an excellent source of protein, and had a side of veggie sausage. I feel good-like I’m actually taking care of my body.

Um, what else…oh this Sunday, the 14th of Sept. is the run for Congo women, a nine mile run. I’m excited about it! I also decided to do an off road duathlon in October. It consists of a 5 mile run and a 15 mile mountain bike ride. I’m really excited about that. And the following weekend will be a 10K or a half-marathon-I haven’t decided yet. All in all, I’m really excited about the upcoming season!

Hooray for fall!

You may notice a few more entries that showed up on my blog that don’t necessarily pertain specifically to running or exercise. They were from my other blog which was more of a general journal. Anyway, two separate blogs are kind of a pain to manage-at least for me-so i imported all those entries and will occasionally add entries not so running specific to this one. I mean, everything in my life is pretty interconnected, so why not add some of my just general ramblings to this one?

So, here’s my first general rambling. I just totally lost it at my supervisor. I don’t normally just blow, but today I did. Here’s why: Things at my job are so up in the air right now. It’s looking like my company is going to get dissolved and my position will be rolled back into the parent company. Supposedly I will still have a job, but it’s not 100% certain. And even if I do get to keep my job, I probably won’t be doing as much challenging, publishing related work-I really don’t know. So that’s got me down and I’ve been looking for other jobs, but nothing has materialized yet. I’m trying to surrender and just trust that everything will work out, but it’s hard, and the current situation has gotten me down. So I’m a little grumpy at work. Combine that with the constant gossip and speculation that goes on here. Just on Friday, my coworkers were talking about how the owners had to get a second mortgage out on their house to pay our salaries. I don’t know how true that is, but it’s disconcerting-so of course I worried about that all weekend. 

Last week I did some shopping and bought a $15 dress. I wore it on Friday and got the 3rd degree from my supervisor about having something new on. In fact, every time I come in she asks if my outfit is new or if i did something to my hair or whatever. I understand that may be her way of making conversation, but when it’s every day it gets annoying, and it makes me uncomfortable to wear anything new to work.

Ok, so those things have got me a little irritated, plus I’m just tired and worn out anyway. So, I’m not exactly a little ray of sunshine wearing a big cheesy smile today. So my supervisor asks me if something’s wrong. And I, very calmly, reply, no, nothing’s wrong. I am fine. To which I get a “no, you’re totally not fine! i know something’s wrong!” (this is in front of my two coworkers-by the way) and at that i just lost it. “I am fine! You are always asking me if something’s wrong and it’s annoying. I am fine!” And she then turns to my coworkers and says, “Ha, I knew it! Something’s is wrong! Come on guys, let’s heckle it out of her!” Which totally pissed me off even more. So I was like, “yes, i’m grumpy. and asking me a million f-ing times if I’m ok and then needling me about it isn’t helping!” So then my coworkers all go back to work, laughing. Except me. I’m fuming.

Is it just me, or am I not allowed to be in a mood at work without being pestered? I know it’s my coworker’s personality to want to make sure everyone is OK, but seriously-she gets a little too involved and needles a little too much, so that finally I just lose it and let loose on her. But, I’m just curious…is this normal for an office environment? I’ve never experienced it before, so i’m a little curious. Do other people experience this at their workplace?

Oh things have been so busy. But I HAVE been running. And biking!  A lot! In fact-this weekend I did some shopping and got fitted for some shoes, and I got an iPod Nano with Nike +, so I have no excuse not to run anymore. Here are my shoes-I call them Hellboy, cuz that’s what they remind me of…

Went running on Sunday  night with Kelly. We first tried going to Forest Park, then realized it was already almost pitch black. So we ran about a mile there, turned back, then ran 4 miles over by University of Portland. It was a good night. Monday, we all went mountain biking for about 2 hours. I’m really getting used to my new bike, which I absolutely love. I’m thinking about doing maybe some off road triathlons next year!

So I signed up to do a run for Congo women in September. It’s a nine mile run, and all the proceeds from it go to help women in the Congo who have suffered from the war there. I am trying to raise $500 to start with, so any donation would be appreciated. You can donate online here:

http://www.active.com/donate/runforcongowomenpdx/flydi007

You can also learn about the Running for Congo Women program here:

http://www.runforcongowomen.org/

Thanks for your support

ok, just because i am not doing the marathon does NOT mean i can stop blogging! right, diane? right????? ok, right. so here i am…not working…but blogging-because THAT’S what’s important. i just want to clarify that just because i haven’t been blogging doesn’t mean i haven’t been exercising. In fact, I did a 4 mile run with Kelly on Saturday, I mountain biked for 2 hours on Sunday with the hubby, I ran 2 miles Monday morning (and did an upper body weight routine) and another 4 with Kelly on Monday afternoon, and I biked for 30 minutes yesterday. By the way, Kelly has a training blog now as she trains for her run to Central America. Read her blog HERE and about her non-profit HERE.

Today I’ve got a 5 mile run scheduled, and tomorrow 2 miles and an upper body workout. I’ve also joined Weight Watchers because I got on the scale, and OH BOY-not a good sight. Apparently just because I’m running does not mean I can indulge in Linguini Carbonara from Mamma Mia’s every night, as much as I wish I could. Anyway, the Weight Watchers thing is really making me feel better-I can still have some snacks like cookies, but just in moderation-not EVERY day. And I’ve been REALLY GOOD about eating lots of fruits and veggies and less breads and starchy carbs. I’m really happy-I’m hoping to drop 20 lbs by the time I go to NM for Thanksgiving. That way I can load up on yummy New Mexican food for a whole week. Just kidding-I will enjoy myself but there’s no way I’m going to undo all the good habits I’m just starting to form now.

OK, that’s all for now. Toodaloo!

So, I have decided not to do the marathon in October. Right now with work stress and everything else, it’s just not right. I’m realizing that it’s not what I want right now. I want my running to be beneficial, healthy, restorative, and motivating for me. But right now, the thought of running a marathon just stops me dead in my tracks, and I can’t even get out the door to do any run. I love running, but I love running distances between 5-10 miles. So for now, that’s what I’m going to do. I feel more motivated now to run, knowing that I’m not putting any pressure on myself-I’m doing it for me-not for any expectation of perfectionism that I put on myself-and that’s really what it was. I was so trying to be perfect-trying to attain this goal-and once I attained it, then I would be all right.

But what I’m realizing is that I am all right now. I don’t need to prove my worth or strength to anyone, not even myself. Am I a little disappointed? Yes-my ego is saying that I still need to run the marathon and right now I’m a quitter. But for me, the goal of running a marathon hasn’t been a wasted effort in the least. Now I’m out running and back into it fully-and I have a new appreciation for my body and for my health. It jumpstarted me on my path back into a fit and healthy lifestyle, and I am very thankful for that.

Right now I need to focus on balance, health, and happiness and remove all things from my life that are throwing off that balance. And, where I am in this moment, the overwhelming pressure I was putting on myself to do the marathon was throwing me way off. Maybe down the road a piece I’ll run one, when I am truly ready. Right now, I think I’m just going to take each day as it comes and enjoy the runs along the way.

So, today I went to put on a pair of jeans that I used to always wear. Well, hadn’t worn them in a while and of course, they barely go on! I measure myself and sure enough, my waist and hip measurements are bigger than before I started running and weight training. I’m terrified to get on the scale out of fear that I may have ballooned another 20 lbs. I don’t get it-I’ve been working so hard-running, biking, weight training. Why am I seemingly getting bigger? I can’t win no matter what I do, it seems. To top it off, I asked my husband to please NOT dry my pants in the dryer because it shrinks everything-but he keeps doing it. So now I have one pair of pants that fit-well, until I have to wash them. I’m so frustrated and feel like a prize pig at a county fair. Blah.

4 mile run, 10:35 pace. Ran with neighbor Kelly. Felt pretty good-it was really humid though so I was sweating like crazy. Went to gym in PM and did an upper body workout.