I’m listening to an interview that Oprah did with Eckhart Tolle, and it’s something I need to write about so I can figure out how it applies to me. A caller asked the question about staying present when she is doing mundane tasks such as cleaning the cat box or doing housework. She’s able to stay present when painting, or even driving, but other mundane tasks make her bored. Tolle says something very interesting which I think might hold the key to my anxiety I feel about getting housework done. What happens inside me when I feel anxiety about needing to clean and just wanting it to be done?
Tolle talks about what boredom actually is and explains that it is when the thinking mind looks for some kind of stimulus to keep it entertained. With cleaning it is not finding enough, because cleaning really isn’t that interesting of a task.
So then, what is it with me? When I think about cleaning, I think about it less like a mundane task and make it mountain out of a molehill. I get anxiety about having to do it. But why? What is anxiety, exactly. I guess I could explain it as my mind feeling like there is a certain state of unrest-that things aren’t exactly just so. When I know there’s cleaning to be done, my mind translates that to feeling like there are loose ends to be tied up, and unless all my loose ends are tied up, my mind does not relax. The problem with that way of existing, though, is that there are always loose ends to tie up. If I’m constantly waiting for all of my loose ends to be tied up, I’m not living in the here and the now. I’m living in the future when all of those issues are resolved. That results in me hustling about all day, and, as my husband puts it, putzing, to try to ease my mind.
House cleaning is a part of that. I feel like unless my house is in order, I don’t have a grip. I don’t have control. So I feel a tremendous amount of anxiety around keeping the house in order to avoid that fear that all will come crashing down if things aren’t organized. According to Tolle, I have identified the thinking and the emotions that result from that thinking.
The next step is to ask myself, “who am i in the moment of experiencing those thoughts and emotions?” am i the thought or the emotion itself? no, i am the awareness of those emotions. and once i recognize that i am that awareness, I am in the present.
so, my anxiety comes from the need to calm my ego-my thoughts-down, not from any real unrest in the world or in myself. and tolle says that we don’t need to get rid of these thoughts. just being aware of the thoughts and recognizing them as something separate from ourselves makes them lose their power over us. and the thoughts that come after realizing this awareness are much more positive and creative.
wow, what an epiphany.
