Ok, so I did yesterday’s workout today-and took yesterday as a rest day. I think that’s ok. I ran 4 miles-same route as Wednesday, so nothing too exciting. It’s warm out and a bit humid so I worked up quite a sweat. Like I said, this was a pretty mundane run-but being out in the warm sun felt really good. Definitely got my vitamin D for today! Still trying to decide whether I should do my 10 miles tomorrow or Sunday. I’m leaning toward Sunday and having tomorrow be my relaxation day. That sounds nice.
Since today’s run really doesn’t have much to report, I figured I’d take a moment to write about why I’m running. Well, I decided to do this marathon because the whole new year’s resolution of “i want to get in shape” thing doesn’t work for me. “Get in shape” is too vague a term, and I end up not challenging myself nearly enough. If I just wanted to “get in shape” I’d just do 20 minutes on the elliptical trainer and 20 minutes of a Jane Fonda weight lifting routine and be done with it. I don’t want to just “get in shape.” To me, that’s not fulfilling. I need something more- a big challenge…like a marathon!
Basically I just need some goal to aim towards, and the whole “lose 20 lbs” thing doesn’t work for me either. If I focus too much on my weight, I set myself up for failure. I have too many issues regarding weight from the past that still bog me down from time to time. And, given those past issues, I’ve totally messed up my metabolism and losing weight is freakin’ impossible for me. So, when I don’t see the scale budge, I give up and I get down on myself, and it’s a losing battle.
So, I decided to forego counting calories, and I’ve hidden the scale underneath the bed. I havent’ weighed myself since I started this marathon training, and, in all honesty, I doubt I’ve lost more than a few pounds, if any. But that doesn’t really matter to me anymore. When I run, I feel my body getting stronger and healthier. I feel myself overcoming challenges with every step, and after each workout, I feel proud and fulfilled.
I also run to help my mental health. I’ve battled depression, and bi-polar disorder runs in my family. (it’s genetic you know.) I am afraid that I might develop it at some point-they say that it really starts to show itself as one approaches her 30’s. So, I want to do everything I possibly can to keep myself from developing it, or, if I do, to prepare myself to best be able to deal with it and manage it. Right now I can say that running is better than any anti-depressant I’ve ever been on. I can vouch for the research that shows that exercise releases endorphins and a big medicine cabinet full of feel good hormones. Any day that I skip a run, I don’t feel like myself-I feel like I’ve skipped taking medicine-and I feel like I’ve cheated myself.
Running for me is so important. I deserve to feel good about myself, and I’m the only one who is going to provide me with that right. I owe it to myself and to my loved ones to do whatever it takes to make myself happy and healthy, because when I am, I can help make others happy too. And that’s why I run.
